Thursday, October 19, 2006
moan&groan
Its thursday again. i wont have school till monday. four days a week of school... shldnt sound too bad right? well, four days have never repeatedly felt so tiring. this is tiring shit.
This week especially has been particularly life sucking. i feel like a walking shrivelled prune... in need of hydration (water=life) but this will only come till much later i expect. so meanwhile, i'll continue to dry up under the scorching heat and incur more wrinkles till that day comes. if it ever does :( Now it feels as though im disjointed, less myself. My mind seems to be somewhere floating overhead while my body sits here sluggish. Nearly headless nic. I need something more than water, sleep and food. An extreme makeover i guess, of perceptions... a reason.
oh well, shrivelled decapitated humanprunes still have to go on.
you cant break my spirit, its my dreams you take.
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dreamed.at .|. 6:31 AM
Sunday, October 15, 2006
mary poppins and her umbrella
Last friday, a nice middle aged woman did something nice for me. I was on my way to the national lib w a heavy bag of books when it suddenly started pouring like crazy.
Not wanting to get myself drenched, i stood under the rickety old shelter searching morosely for any sheltered route i could take buuuut there was none. Dashing across roads half blinded by the rain somehow seemed too scary for me to handle too.
So i watched as people w umbrellas all drifted past in a blur for a good twenty minutes.. hoping the rain would ebb.
Then out of the blur of streaming people and rain, this angel of a woman stepped out and said to me simply, 'Where you heading? i'll take you there.' I was so thankful i impulsively wanted to hug her and probably would have if i werent carrying so many things. Before she appeared i was on the point of dissolving and slumping onto the floor in exhaustion and exasperation.
She walked me to my destination with me and w a simple thank u so much she was gone.
Its nice to know that just when u think u are alone, just you and the problem, someone, a total stranger might think of you... and make your problem their own and help you deal with it. She neednt have stopped to help, could have just walked on like the rest in a faceless crowd.. but she did, and helped lessen the burden i felt. Its the little things(: Surely, if everyone made it a point to help someone whenever we can, the world would feel less weary as a whole. And i realise, its ok to accept help sometimes too.. although i make myself be as independent as i can be. We're all made to give and receive after all.. one without the other doesnt work. its only when we learn to give and receive that we become more complete.
part of a conversation i overheard:
i live by faith and not by sight
but sometimes sight affirms faith
Sight wo faith however, affirms nothing.
Quite true i guess.
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dreamed.at .|. 9:15 PM