Monday, May 15, 2006
wat a rare occurence. i've finished my work early today n The Boss has no time to review n comment so im freeee. till tomorrow at least before He realises we're behind schedule again n starts getting all agitated n bombard me w a hundred things to do at once in an impossibly short time. ah, cant wait.
For now, its just me my laptop n the few colleagues who can lift their heavy lidded eyes away fr the screen for a moment to make small talk. thanks gdness for dumb updates, msn n fellow office slaves like maria (:
Right now its so quiet..tt i can hear some dude's tummy rumbling and the woman sitting way over there at the far end sniffling. i can even make out the lyrics fr the songs playing in mp3 wo putting on the earphones.. n the volumes at level 6 only.
i feel the perverse urge to scream. or sing loudly. make some bombastic explosive noise to shock them into the world of the living. plus the look on their faces would probably be priceless. hahah. Its too bad i still want to keep this job. heh.
if life were as exciting n drama as it is in the movies i could prob storm up to The Boss after an absolutely horrible day at work, slap my resignation letter on the table, yell I QUIIIIIT and run around the office like a headless chicken letting out whoops of joy n hollering BYE SUCKERSSS before walking out onto the streets as a free spirit.
hahah. as it is... these things only happen on shows. if i did that in real life, i would prob walk out onto the streets w dejection sinking in go home n start lookg at the classified ads to start the cycle again. heh. anw.. its not like im really hating my work. its quite a challenging business.. learning how to handle ppl, act professional and manage monster projects. sometimes theres just so many things to do its all so unclear n the pressures so great w ppl yelling orders tt i've to mutter dontpanicdontpanic in my head just to keep calm. heh. everyday i just leave the office feeling dizzy fr post work high n sheer exhaustion.
plus there are always many awkward situations. once i staggered into a meeting room w 2 japanese n 2 germans clients all waiting for The Boss to come in. i was just the drinks n goody bag girl but nooo they wouldnt let me off n i had to entertain them before The Boss made his appearance. Man ive got a lot to learn. hahahh.
Germany, though only 2 days away, still seems quite far away. Guess it'll never really sink in tt im actually flying away till im on the plane feeling tt gush of suspended weightlessness when the plane takes off. How exciting. (:
k a woman w scary stiff eyelashes glued at the tips n dressed in all yellow resembling big bird has just asked me if i could help her w something.
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dreamed.at .|. 12:33 AM
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Life&Happiness
Its fruit day today and we're all been given a plum.
its a nice glossy red, smooth small and wonderfully round. and it fits nicely in my hand too (:
if only everything could feel as right as having a plum in ur palm.
this past few months, or this whole year so far in fact, has been an interesting one. i came in wanting to do so many things, try tons of stuff i normally wont have the time to do. i came in expecting it to be a promising year of answers.. but its turning out instead to be a puzzling year of questions.
Instead of the exciting yr i was expecting, where we would all dive gracefully into Life, discover all things amazing and be filled with the sweetness of contentment... its been more of an unsettling yr of waiting. waiting for results, waiting for uni acceptance letters, shuffling betw jobs... basically waiting for things to happen. not just things.. but the one thing that would hit u hard on the head and make u realise this is what u've been waiting for, this is what u want out of life.
Dont get me wrong though, this whole 'waiting' period has had its many splendid moments.. and i've enjoyed myself aplenty. its just not what i anticipated.. like most of the things in life. most of the things i've planned since last yr to do suddenly didnt seem so impt this yr n werent carried out.. but the things i hadnt planned happened. im glad it happened this way tho n can safely say i dont regret anything at all so far.
i guess im just being and have been far too impatient. Things dont just fall from the sky, plans dont drop into place, nor do ants file in a straight line at the snap of ur fingers. We seem to want to scramble thru the tangle of time, sieze Happiness by the hips and hold her [i'll like to think Happiness is female heh] close.. neglecting the beauty that often comes from letting things unfold and appreciating it. its easier said than done tho.. but perhaps patience, discernment and faith is the key.
i'll be leaving for germany soon and its time to stop slinking away fr my doubts, hesistations and fear of the choices and the future and get my uni applications settled. Perhaps life would slowly follow suit and settle itself too.
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dreamed.at .|. 1:11 AM