Saturday, September 24, 2005
pebbles! isnt she the coolest dog in the world! hahah. sorry i couldn resist.
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dreamed.at .|. 11:21 PM
us b4 swimming in the freezing girls bathroom
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dreamed.at .|. 11:18 PM
us at tt lil pool lazing ard n chatting (:
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dreamed.at .|. 11:16 PM
(: spent the better half of the day rolling ard on the bed reading all my lib books! if only i can do this on a weekly basis...life would be so heavenly then.
went town yest to orchard lib to borrow books..devourdevour. heh. then stopped by artfriend. tt place is so cool! k not really lah, its just i haven been in an art shop for damn long n art shops are cool! so many things to see so many things to try so many things to make! can spend like 3 hrs there n not realise it. do u noe theres puffy paint where u can bake the paints n make it puff! n theres edible spongebob stuff too! plus all tt diff colours n glittery fabric..mmm. hahah.
anw i bought lotsa stuff.. to make for ppl n decorate my stuff. so dont be too surprise if i drop u a gift sometime.(: bought a charcoal pencil too.. i've a fascination w charcoal pencils. so black n strong. love seeing the black smudges on my fingers aft some drawing :] yaaaaay. if post prelims is so fun i cant wait for after As!! its exciting. the utter freedom of having time on ur hands n doing wat u want to, not what u need to. i think i would be so full of love for life that i'll be bursting at the seams. :]
went club w sokie on fri too. had a splendid time! felt good to do something physical again. hahah. swam, played table tennis, bowled. oh n we tried pool. it was hilarious... hahah. balls were jumping all over the place n the white ball kept insisting on gg in. plus we were real clumsy w the stick. hahah. but whatever, we had fun anw. (: ohh n we had a gross encounter w a bunch of guys in the pool. hormonal prepubescent guys. you would think w a big pool we could all do watever we want happily in peace but no...they had to come over n peep at us behind the bush. n one of them was like: 'xiaojie, my fren ask u come play w us.' how beng. we were like properly horrified n totally ignored them. lol. quite rude lah...oops. but seriously i was too appalled n grossed out to say anything.
well, if anything at least they had 'courage'.. rough, unglam courage but still courage. lol. i always thought its gd to have a guy who's open so u noe where u stand.. unlike guys tt play weird confusing games. but sometimes it comes out all wrong.. there must be discretion in being frank and a mysterious charm but yet not holding back too much. but above all a guy must have guts. wats a guy wo guts? or even if he's wo guts he shld have the guts to admit he's gutless. like darling seth n hugh grant. go watch hugh grant in love actually! he's so cute. hahah. the guy i would want to marry must be interesting. so when i wake up every morn i can go like WOW. hahah k i better stop b4 i blurt out sth stupid n go fr bad to worse.
jills coming over to stay! cant wait (:
im shutting u up in tt tiny bottomost drawer of mine n hurling the key away. its sucking away my energy n i dont need tt right now. if its meant to be the key might float back, if not, so be it. life has much other things in store for me.
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dreamed.at .|. 11:12 PM
Thursday, September 22, 2005
a symbol of my freedom! albeit temporary. yaaay! 5 days of non stop fun! :))
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dreamed.at .|. 7:05 PM
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
isnt it sad that religion draws quite a clear line betw pple who would otherwise have been very good frens? i guess its understandable in the sense tt religion forms the base of lifes big questions, n so its natural to think tt u'll gel well w one who has the same understanding, same view of life.. but is it necessary, is it right, is it fair to strike someone off ur list just bcos tt person is not of the same religion as u? is it right tt in ur eyes, tt person, (oh tt Blasphemous One!) is no longer as impt, as cherised as say ur frens w the same religion? like sheeeeesh. u dont write pple off or lower ur opinion of them just cos they've different. ok whatever, im fighting a losing battle here. there was this guy once whom i liked n the feeling was mutual but nothing could come out of it bcos he 'only dates christians'.
i used to think tt bcos of all this religious stereotype thing my circle of frens was limited. i still kinda do when i see pple being judged bcos of their religion n bear the brunt sometimes.. but my teacher told me its them who's circle is limited, not urs. hmmm..
im just glad tt some of my other frens are not so narrow minded. i guess it is them who really matter then.
anw prelims are shit. n todays math paper was like the shits of all shits. yawwn. wats new huh.
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dreamed.at .|. 3:36 AM
Thursday, September 15, 2005
there's something therapeutic (and unproductive) bout studying at home.
rolling ard on the bed.. snoozing in betw pgs of bio notes.. lying flat on my back staring at my nice blue ceiling, just thinking thinking thinking.. nth study related.
taking a cool shower n then sitting all wet on my balcony ledge staring out at some bird w a yellow chest, notes lying forgotten again on my lap. singing loudly to my zen songs wo anyone listening. laughing at random funny things tt float in n out of my mind.. doodling all over my desk.. n of course! the wonderful conversations i have w my maid. hahah. she gave me interesting insight into the 'dos n donts of a maid in spore' while sighing n shaking her head at the pic of the murdered maid. n we talked abt our dreams.. she wants to earn lotsa money then get married n stay at home to look aft her kids. wat a nice easy dream.. free fr all tt expectations. n i told her wat a lucky woman she was, while glaring resentfully at my stats book. lol. maybe i shld be a maid! a happy maid like her. but then again i dont do the whole handling slimy fish n chicken thing. ohwell.... all i can say is she's found her place in the world so she's happy. guess i shld find mine soon. then i'll be happy too! :] all i noe for sure my place isnt amongst the fiery chasms of thick smelly rotting notes, math formulae n all that SHIT.
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dreamed.at .|. 4:30 AM
Thursday, September 08, 2005
the nice view fr my balcony. (: if u look closely u can see the templein the dist.
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dreamed.at .|. 8:39 PM
jill n pebbles on my bed
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dreamed.at .|. 8:25 PM
pebbles being lazy
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dreamed.at .|. 8:24 PM
cedar tees!
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dreamed.at .|. 8:24 PM
Saturday, September 03, 2005
sharm n i saw lotsa cute lil ang moh kids today. i wanna have lots n lots of kids next time! k not tt many.. maybe bout 3.. to cuddle n love. set up my own nice n cosy family :] but for now i've got pebbles! hahah.
passion pursuit day was so cool! thought it was gonna be a flop but it turned out to be pretty interesting. its amazing, the kind of talents there are amongst our teachers.. teachers tt could rap real fast, play rock music, n others tt could sing opera, compose really gd songs, song writers.. n they shared their stories on how their passion came abt.. how they pursued it. we were all like wow.. who knew these grp of seemingly normal pple could be such interesting individuals? it has inspired me to want to do something more.. more things! n i've alr compiled a list of stuff i wanna do aft the As n beyond (: its never too late, life is wat we make of it. still, i feel resentful tt ive to put my life on hold now.. all this oppressiveness n restrictions have made me appreciate n yearn for the freedom tt would come w e end of the As more. oh well, all in good time..
been talking to several pple bout religion nowadays.. seems like lots of pple are interested in buddhism too. wow.. pleasant surprise. all these while i thought i was an oddity. all my frens, pple my age i knew all seemed to flock towards christianity. i cant say i wasnt tempted.. there were times when i felt like gg to see wat it was all about. n my frens were ever so persuasive too.
but my mum convinced me to give buddhism a try first before i explored other religions.. so i did. attended all tt classes w a bunch of kids who only spoke chinese. at first it was only to appease my mum but then i just learnt more n more stuff.. n these stuff made sense to me too. i could identify w it, it applied to life.. the life i knew. still, i had my doubts then.
my mums death exactly 2yrs ago made me turn to buddhism more.. it was a turning pt of sorts. suddenly i had to put wat i learnt into practice. all tt stuff bout impermance, learning to let go etc. even now, 4 yrs aft i first knew abt buddhism i feel like i can hardly call myself a buddhist. a striving buddhist more like it. im grazing the tips of wat is a very vast n deep ocean. n i cant say i've been trying hard enough either.. busy caught up the dumb routines of life. the teachings in buddhism are also pretty hard to put into practice.. cos im like super imperfect n stuff. but oh well, if the aspiration is there, nths impossible. (: n the knowledge tt other pple are too striving is helpful too. :]
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dreamed.at .|. 2:55 AM