Saturday, October 30, 2004
changed my template! know the tag board colours look wierd.. haha. but im too lazy to change. so it shall remain tt wierd colour for the time being.
went orchard for dental after pw today n met char... n we ate at sakae! haha. char was damn funny. she took this tuna sushi n decided it was stale n she didnt like it.. so after eating one, she decided to exchange the tuna sushi for an unagi sushi.. so she wont like waste 1.90.. n so the plate, w 1 unagi sushi n 1 tuna sushi- mismatched when ard on the conveyor belt. i was horrified n tried to make her change her mind but she was determined n claimed it was okay. haha. oh well. we were terrified tt the waiter might notice n come arrest us or something. haha. n after like 10 min when we didnt see tt plate anymore, we thought it was gone.. taken away. but then to our horror we saw it zoom pass us again. feel kinda guilty. i mean, it was soo wrong. haha. but still it was kinda funny.
oh n i bumped into maria w her family, n mr chan at borders. haha.
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dreamed.at .|. 10:15 AM
Friday, October 29, 2004
booo!-aahh.
wow. its the last day of sch today.. hows tt possible? the whole yr just flew past man..
this yr was a yr of such major changes, adjustments-fears, worries, insecurities n all. when i first started jc, i was SO deluded man. got caught up in lotsa stuff n neglected my 'priority' as my dad puts it. with all the hype n excitement throughout the yr, duh i got caught up in it. but now the dust has settled n i made an impt decision yest. sadd but yeah, i had to do it. but still, this sch yr turned out pretty alright, as it always does..eventually :]
was reading my junior's blog tt day n realised i really miss cedar! those were lovely days man n i dont mind reliving them again. but we all have to move on.. there's always other nice things to discover in life yeah? my stay in sa, though brief, was highly enjoyable. cool pple, cool place :) and nj, though i often complained n whined tt its full of boring, life-less, rigid, n the most fervent type of muggers in the world,-haha- ive come to accept nj n like it even :) though stressful yes, but still nj's kinda nice now n ive come to feel a sense of belonging here.. :) heheh. like today's halloween for eg! damn cool. had this dance party in the hall (but no one danced) n a haunted house n this 'scary tour ard sch'. HAHA. hilarious man. we kept freaking ourselves out n screaming like crazy. it was rather scary n fun, but mostly cos we were freaking ourselves out. haha. the councillors did a great job though. the whole thing was real splendid. :) heh, njcians are not as boring as percieved ok! ohh n we all looked damn good! if i may say so myself. :) jenn was like... WOW. she really went out all the way man. complete with tall witch hat, stylish black boots, n the long plaited hair. cool! :) jill looked so nice in her top n short skirt la! n so did sharm. maria too! her eyes were like..pow! so stylish man. like cleopatra. :) jo's dragon ringbracelet was cool! franc, sb n pj were great too! had fun..haha. ohh and xt... she looked damn nice in her off-shoulders red top tt we got for her n this denim skirt. haha. so ladylike. ;) borrowed jill's blackred skirt which was cute..but i was so worried bout it gg up cos it was soo short! haha.
nice way to end the sch yr.. though i still have a packed hols. still have op on mon! gtg sch tml to work on it... n theres mt on fri. oh well, just a wk more till its really hols. YEP trip! yayy. still have yet to pack n stuff. plus im moving house soon... ahh. so many things! .................................
oh i forgot to mention. sharm jill n xt got me a bday present. [long overdue] today while at taka durng the long break b4 halloween. one of it is this purple streaked cat toy.. which squeals 'i love to shop! garrehh..!' when u press its purple paw. HAHA.
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dreamed.at .|. 9:08 AM
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
nahh, im just happy being me :)
wheeeee. im feeling qt relaxed now cos op dry run is over n ive got nothing[much] to worry abt now. haha. tml is gonna be such a slack day.. cos my pw grp members have declared it 'Rest Pw day'! haha. yeahh. so i can just go to sch for an hr of cl n then slackkkkkkkkk. jenn n pj wants to go out to shop for halloween stuff. maybe i'll go join them :D if my foot can handle it tt is...
speaking of which, i forgot to say [been having short term memory loss] tt my foot has been hurting! started yest when i was walking outta sch to the bus stop. was talking to maria, hm n debs when it just suddenly starting hurting real bad in this area betw my ankle n the base of my foot. :S it felt as tho my bones have dislocated and were grinding against each other n shredding my flesh bit by bit or something. haha. ok tt was too visual. so pain tt i had to get a lift home. heh. n when i went home i still felt like playing badminton but couldnt n the shuttlecock ended up on the roof>.< haha. Dunno wats wrong w my foot tho, its wierd. still kinda hurting now. well act this pain in my leg has been gg on for some time alr.. just not in the same place[the other times were in the kneecap n just the bone area] and it wasnt as pain. spent the whole day limping ard sch today.. oh well-shrugs- hope it gets better.
garhh. n i had to miss hockey training bcos of it too. damn. ohh n today, i went w pj, who was gg to hand up her s paper form tt smart girl!, to see mr chan n he showed me my results.
faints. it was a
close shave. A
really really close shave. sigh. oh well, wats done is done n i guess i did the best i could in tt circumstances. must really work SUPER hard next yr to up my standard.
ohh if only i had brains like sharms, or pjs or jills or cyns!
nahh, im just happy being me :)
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dreamed.at .|. 2:17 AM
Monday, October 25, 2004
a few notches below tt sea of calm lies the eye of the storm.
YAWN. im tired n stressed.. to think its after promos n i still cant rest properly.. still have pw!! have no idea why im stressed bout pw for. argh. why do i bother anw.. pw is so screwed up la. having op dry run tml n have to prepare for our speeches blahblah. seriously i cant really be bothered anymore. n tancy said im too quiet again. -_- find someone who cares will u! cos i dont anymore. buahahaha. PW is such a pain! what with all the formalities, collaborations n what nots... its all a FARCE. hohoho. stupid moe. its just a total waste of time n adds unneccessary stress to poor students like us. heh. oh well, but like i said, i CANT BE BOTHERED anymore. what will come will come. so i shant care much if i mess up the presentation or i keep quiet throughout the entire collaboration exercise n receive a low grade.. [the horror! -gasps- oh whatever]. shall just try my best n heck thru it. then we can all be done with the whole pw thing-fling it aside- forever! and move on with life. whoopee.
can hardly wait.
ohh n how could i forget? its sokie's bday!
HAPPY SWEET SEVENTEEN SOKIE POCKY! :D
loveya!
let us dance to life n whatever challenges it might throw at us. bring it on.
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dreamed.at .|. 3:44 AM
Friday, October 22, 2004
:]
despite pw pw pw and pw stuff to do... and chineeeese. im happy. im happy today :) prob cos a great weight has been lifted off me(more or less), and i got to catch up with a dear friend:) yayy. life is nice at times... beautiful even. :D
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dreamed.at .|. 8:22 AM
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
shuttlecocking!
wow. damn tired. did pw the whole of last nite till like 12 plus at my cousins house cos my comp couldnt work! something wrong with the disk drive. den aft tt we started playing badminton! haha, yes, at like in the wee hours of the morn. cos my dad was catching up w my uncle since he came to pick me up. was fun! haven played for like yrs... haha.
then today was like pw written report day. everything was damn hectic. pple were damn stressed n snappy too. tempers flew n pple raged.
touchy touchy. sighh but we were all in it tog so i saw no reason for all the snapping at each other thing. oh well, like i said...pple react differently in different situations.
oh well, shall not think bout depressing stuff. must keep busy with life! while it lasts till the results are out. from then, death will take over.. -sadistic laugh- which means i have at least a wk b4 my life alters drastically when they reveal my horrid results. BLEH. ok, no more no more.
played badminton with sokie after lit lect today! haha. so fun! at first wanted to play at this corner but it was kinda creepy so then we played in the open n pple walking by could be 'marvelled by our excellent skills' haha. i was ronald susilo n sokie was Boonsak pontana(or something like tt). n she would grunt forcefully 'ENRGHhh!' whenever she hits the shuttlecock while i was supposed to say 'huah!'. haha. but it didnt work for me cos i was laughing so hard at her grunting. hahahah.
then went to do pw [again] b4 dashing off home to sleep. read Angels n Demons non stop. till like 11 b4 i finally finished it. its so exciting! must go read...:) ok now im dead tired n gonna drop facefirst onto the keyboard anytime soon. yayy. fun, packed days does help to stop one from worrying excessively n contemplating doom.. [momentarily]
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dreamed.at .|. 9:20 AM
Monday, October 18, 2004
s t r a i n e d
Depressed.
man. it is heard from mr chan tt there are people in our class who are gonna get retained. okay, maybe 1 person(?) me, perhaps? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i have this really badbadbadbadbad feeling. our class is so damn smart, its not hard to imagine who this retainee might be. n im like struggling w my studies ever since i came to nj in march. bleh. why why? did i take science in nj when i didnt in the 1st 3 mnths?! ok, no use asking why. its too late. im so scared la. its me.. i can feel it. bio bad, chem-superbly flunked, math- better..but is it better enough?? n lit.... lit is so unpredictable. what if the teachers dont like my intepretation? :( sighh.
i've never felt like such a failure before. i mean, i used to be able to cope fine in cedar.. hardly failed anything except amath. n the thought never crossed my mind tt i might get retained. shheesh. wats happening to me? have my brain cells dwindled or is it just the nj-thing? maybe i cant cope in nj, maybe im not good enough. maybe i overestimated myself....
n to have to attend normal lessons like normal w/o knowing the results is terrible. i mean, i feel really unsettled. its like, if u are gonna retain me then OUT with it. i'll take it in my stride(i hope) and i'll need to make arrangements ok. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
life sucks when u suck at what u've supposed to be doing. ie-studying.
n its worse when pple ard u dont get it. like when u feel really worried n horrible n u feel like u need to talk to someone bout it.. n some pple just snap at u n throw a temper. asking u to quit worrying ie-shut up. now tts really nice. i mean, pple react differently in different situations rite. some fret while others deal w it differently. so theres really no reason to snap just because u feel differently about something.
sorry, im aware that not many of u are interested in the plagues of my life so i shall stop now. oh well, had to let it out somewhere.
the sun will go on rising, whether i get retained or not. yeah, sure.
p.s- thanks shubei, maria n pris :)
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dreamed.at .|. 7:01 AM
Saturday, October 16, 2004
have u evr met a person.. tt fulfilled u deep inside?
smeone who has nvr failed you and stands, no matter what, at ur side?smeone who gives frm their hrt, who brings sunshine all ard,alwys smiling and laughing... nvr seeming dwn?
have u evr watched the sunset across the ocean shore,and been filled with love and peace.. nvr needing more?
have u evr listened to the wind.. blowing restlessly thru the night,and heard the angel's whispers helping u to see, when u've lost sight?
have u evr heard a song tt moves u and sets ur soul free,and mks u forget ur pain and anger or mks u feel wild and happy?
have u evr given to someone when u din have enough to spare,and felt so worthy insdie, tt u did'nt care?
sadly, i havent... yet. but still, its something else to hope for in this world.
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dreamed.at .|. 8:10 AM
--------------
i realise i've been wrong bout certain pple. damn. everythings a mess. i hateit i hateit i hateit. i shall just orbit away n not come back till ive relived my life n correct every single detail tts wrong w it.
thanks pris, sy n all for trying to lift my spirits up. its amazing how pple in misery can do good for each other at times. it doesnt go unappreciated.
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dreamed.at .|. 7:27 AM
Thursday, October 14, 2004
booo. pw sucks :(
Princess.-- came across this on the net :)
Myth: Princesses are mainly spoilt children.
Fact: Being a Princess is a choice to live ones life it was fully intended.
Myth: Princesses find rich men to take care of us.
Fact: Princesses work hard so we cantake care of ourselves.
Myth: Princesses throw parties to bethe center of attraction.
Fact:: Princess are always the centre of attraction, even alone at home.
Myth: All princesses are pampered.
Fact: All princesses ARE pampered.
hahhahaha.
Today sucked. Did pw the whole day! from like 8 to 4. cant stand it. there like a whole mountain of pw stuff waiting to be done.. n the whole pw idea is screwed up la. its all so aggravatingly meticulous, superficial n dumb! i mean wat is the point in forcing young lively pple like us to sit down n think of a trend n predict it n conduct useless surveys to have useless hypothesis to confirm the trend n then present all tt to uninterested-but-forced-to-be-interested examiners n pw teachers? like wth? it just sucks the life out of everyone n is a huge waste of time! grr. oh well, a while more till it'll be over. shall just heck it n just do it. cant really be bothered anymore.. HMPH.
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dreamed.at .|. 8:23 AM
Sunday, October 10, 2004
sometimes time just weighs heavy on ur hands.
heheh -satisfied smirk- i learnt how to change my template(which everyone said sucked) at last! had some help fr my sis tho. the little comp expert in the house. but still lazy to add links n stuff. and i dunno how to add a tag board. haha. okok im hopeless at these stuff. but at least im trying ok! haha. i'll do it another day la.
sighh. been msging some of my dear cedar pals recently. so miss them! the bonds made in those 4 years seem likely to stay with me for a longlong time(maybe forever?:) Cedar will always be the home nj will never be. nj is too... unhomely if u noe wat i mean. despite having all those great frens there:]... nj just does not have tt caring -home away fr home- env for me. oh well. just feeling pangs of nostalgia. will get to meet them soon enough! :D but
it wont be the same.
read n slept the day away today. cos sokie had 6blisters on her leg fr running n couldnt meet me as arranged. oh man the poor girl. u better rest well ah! :) i finished reading the perks of being a wallflower. its real nice. gave me the 'accomplished' feeling i get whenever i've read a good book. it understands me n i understood it. it was although the protagonist was a really close fren of mine, or was actually part of me. yeah i noe, i get too involved in books sometimes. haha.
after promos timetable starts tml n cca starts again. ok gtg my sis wants to ask me math qns(yeah i noe right, -maths, me?) haha. ok, toodles!
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dreamed.at .|. 8:00 AM
Saturday, October 09, 2004
when all one requires is that perfect song on that pefect drive to feel infinite
Went out with sharmila n jill today after bio spa. went to orchard to watch white chicks. haha. it was quite funny. and gross too. tt part when the guy was having diahorrea was damn funny..so sick la. oh and we didnt go for a manicure in the end. haha. i wanted to save money to get this really nice esprit top. but its like so ex.. sighh.
sharmila n i went to queue for the perfect 10 thing. we were like the 60 something pple in the queue.. haha. felt so retarded. then my sis came to join us and daniel ong was like doing retarded stuff.. 'blessing' the tags by rubbing them under his armpits. like... huh. haha. so lame la tt guy! but he's quite funny la. haha. oh and then when it was our turn to get the tag.. daniel ong was like 'gd luck gd luck' to everyone n when he saw sharmila n i he yelled into the microphone ' oh wow! NJ students ah! NJ rocks NJ rocks! ' oh man... it was so embarrasing. and my sis kept laughing loudly. haha. then i went home n started reading e books i borrowed from the library.
bliss.. really love reading. it felt
soooo good to slack the day away. i've been so deprived since like months before promos.
ohh n i forgot to mention. went out wif maria on fri. suppose to go out n discuss bio spa but we ended up shopping! haha. yayy i love shopping. with maria too. bought this nice floral top. haha. n we went ard trying on clothes in the shops. she bought a pair of sandals too. wif flowers at the side. haha. bought our pink bottles n 1 for hui ghee too n took neoprint. :)
anw, got this out of
The Perks of being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. quite sad really. but an interesting book.
Once on a paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
and he called it chops
Because that was the name of his dog
and thats what it was all about
and his teacher gave him an A
with a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
and he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a
valentine sealed with a row of X's
and he had to ask his father what th X's means
And his father always tuck him in bed at night
and was always there to do it
Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
and he called it 'Autumn'
because that was the name of the season
and that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
And the kids told him that Father Tracy smoked cigars
and left butts on the pews
and sometimes they would burn holes
that was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed a lot
And his father never tucked him in bed at night
And his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it
Once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
and he called it "Innocence: A Question"
because that was the question about his girl
and that's what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
And his mother never put it on the kitchen door
because he never showed it to her
That was the year Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
of the Apostle's Creed went
And he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed or even talked
And the girl around the corner wore too much make-up
that made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
And at 3 am he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring loudly
That's why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it 'Absolutely Nothing'
Because that's what it was really all about
And he gave himself and A
and a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
Because this time he didnt think
he could reach the kitchen.
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dreamed.at .|. 4:11 AM
Thursday, October 07, 2004
Wish list:
1) keane CD
2) new sch bag
3) water bottle!(pink)
4) story books
5)manicure ;]
6)new tote bag
7) charm bracelet
8) handphone!
9) there's more but i cant think yet. heh.
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dreamed.at .|. 11:20 AM
Promos Are Over! yeah and i survived. but just barely. The past few days seemed as though hell and the mortal world had merged. i swear i have a high chance of getting retained. math was surprisingly not That Bad.. but chem and bio made up for it. it was horrendous! chem especially. and i remember chuckling to myself as i flipped thru the paper, skipping those i have no clue abt(which was like everything). seriously, it sucked. yeah enough said. SIGH. oh well.
but its over! hooray :D i can have fun till the results are out. but still. feel kinda worried bout the outcome. ok not kinda, Very. my life hangs in the balance ok. i Do Not wanna spend 3 yrs in nj. no way. hopefully the papers get lost forever! burnt up, trampled upon by a rampaging herd of hippogriffs! i dont really care. haha. ok im in a wierd mood now. feel a little high. haha. cos my papers are over! lit ended today.. n i must say lit papers n studying for lit is nicer than any of the other horrid n stiff subjs tt i take! haha. ok, away with academics stuff! went out with sok the pok today. haha. had fuun! yes. did the usual stuff. shop, bought this really cool necklace. its pink n white with shiny hearts n stars! haha:] sokie bought the same one too. haha. N we took neoprints n etc. watched wimbledon too! nice show:] but the guy was not tt cute. too old la. haha. ok this entry is getting draggy. shall stop now. gg out to j8 tml with maria to get pink bottles! n study for the sickening bio spa on sat. toodle-oo!
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dreamed.at .|. 11:13 AM