Tuesday, March 07, 2006
fork
how i wish i were one of those solitary travellers i saw in Paris last year. part of the faceless crowd.. fading in the rush.. alone but not lonely, unbound by the invisible but very persistent threads of 'appointments', 'duties' and 'have-to-dos'.
On your own, having to answer to no one else. slipping in betw the bustling lives of the 'useful' people.. just blending in. like a wallflower. the past is just simply the past, memories in their place.. thought of fondly without attachment. the future is.. non existent. simply because its not here yet.. whats to enjoy is whats left- the present. same cabin, same train, same destination.. but oh so many different stories. never quite planned, never quite finished..
yeah, it would be nice to be alone in this big big world sometimes. just living in the present, responsible for yourself alone.. your life, your ideals, your consequences. no one to consider, to judge, to suggest, to advice n deliver their well meaning opinions by the truckloads. answer to yourself alright, no questions asked, nor fingers pointed.
but lets face it, no one's truly alone. we were all born sociable creatures.. with the capacity to love and the need to be.. we didnt even come to this life on our own. we were.. expelled out of the mothership by er, our mothers. hahah.
Anw my point is, as cumbersome as it might be sometimes, there are people who do care what happens to u.. n our actions do affect them. to block that all out, renounce all ties n act like u dont care in order to do what u think u want... is silly n irresponsible to both parties. we all need support n to not admit that n facing up to it would be cowardly.
still, to be influenced n look your life through the eyes of others would be cowardly. a trap.
make my decisions for me will you...
take the safe n sure path.. its more secure n would save me from the guilt should you take that leap and bruise too hard.
man, of late i feel as if there are thousands of voices yelling at me, telling me what to do.. actually there kinda are. and sometimes i cant even hear myself think anymore! which of these voices are mine? i know, but then i dont quite know. the clock is ticking.
Who exactly is the coward anw.. the idealist denying, afraid of reality.. or the one walking around with society's tag around the neck, living out society's expectations..
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dreamed.at .|. 6:50 AM