Monday, March 07, 2005
live strong.
just heard tt another one of my distant relatives just died. but im not tt close to them so im not much affected by it. its just troubling n scary.. the way someone can just poof like tt. he died suddenly of a heart attack wo any heart problems n stuff. the poor kids. only our age. sigh. the past 2 yrs have been dotted by unexpected deaths in the family. constantly reminds me that i should make the most out of what i have now. so whenever im really stressed out w everything or just totally bummed. this serves as a reminder tt life is frail n u might just lose everything at once. so im determined to live for myself.
tired of speculation n hesitation n pple trying to hold u back n force u into the dull mundane routines of life. im tired of pple sticking tabs on me n having certain expectations of me. fitting me into certain roles n try n make me grow out tt way.
'go take science u have a better future! go into biomed research, prospects are great!' do this do that! i shall just do what i deem best for me, cos life is short. imagine working urself half to death, stressing urself out over a piece of result slip, feeling inadequate n blahblah. n then suddenly poof. ur life just extinguishes like tt. n wat have u achieve but text book knowledge, stress, n a whole lot of pimples. oh god. if only i had this foresight i would perhaps be studying wat i like. instead of being forced to conform n twist n turn to satisfy him n the 'economy wants' wat a whole load of shit. oh welll. its too late for change now anw. i'll deal w the path i chose to take n come next yr i'll be free to pursure wat i want. n wat if im told the path i choose is 'totally impractical n would get me no where in life(monetarily)?' i wont care. im not gonna live for money. i just want to do wat i want. live for myself n pursue my own dreams. cos the clock is ticking n when i drop dead, i want to be able to say tt i've lived for myself n had a life well lived.
some people tip toe through life.avoiding the unexplored terrainafraid to look up at the dark clouds n so miss the rainbow behind it.some people tip toe through life.going through life as a routineonly to arrive at death safely.n then what? i so dont wanna do that.
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dreamed.at .|. 5:20 AM