Saturday, February 19, 2005
little things.
it didnt seem like much,
but it was one of the little things which are always waiting to be done in this world,
this world. where rainy days come so often, where spirits get out of tune..
a kind little thought, an unselfish little act, a cheery little word,
so sweet and comfortable that no one can fail to feel their beauty and love the giver,
no matter how small they are.
mothers do a great deal of this sort of thing, unseen, un-thanked, but felt and remembered long afterward and never lost, for this is the simple magic that binds hearts together and keeps homes happy.
empty rooms, empty chairs. i miss all the little things. those hugs, those talks n confiding sessions, those good laughs. the specially home cooked meals. those little sacrifices n thoughtful acts of love that go almost unnoticed. the unconditional love. for just being there...not because she had to, but just because. even though we lived in a smaller house.. less furnished, less luxurious, insects infested, crowded n messy. love warmth n comfort existed there. it had abundance of what this house lacks.
i miss those times. i miss having the comfort of knowing that even when i screw absolutely everything up, n feel as lousy as a cow, that there is someone there.. who despite all that shit, still loves and accepts me for who i am.
now its just empty chairs.. n even the laughter n gaiety of temporary day to day things cant seem to mask the darkest of nights. who the hell cares?! like really.
sometimes im just so tired of being strong. too tired to put on a smile. maybe im not as strong as i think i am.
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dreamed.at .|. 5:34 AM