Thursday, December 09, 2004
blurredperceptions
this sucksssss. life is really full of ups n downs.or maybe its just me n my mood swings or bouts of insecurities n high periods. okay i sound like a lunatic dont i. well, maybe i am. im schizophrenic. muahahahahah. sighh. i dont know whyy. but perhaps its just tt we are all gg thru tough times. my family n all. us especially. on the surface, outwardly. all is bright n cheery. but underneath there are huge problems tt r wearing us real thin. its not tt the happy moments we have now are superficial. when we've happy, we've truly enjoying ourselves. but then,the next moment, the problems below surface n u feel tt u are JUST SO BLOODY FED UP WITH EVERYTHING N U JUST WISH A CAR MIGHT COME N RAM U DOWN. yeahh. its like some vicious grotesque cycle. wierd. i dont understand it myself. what exactly is wrong with me? us? my life? our life? everyone does mean well when they do stuff but somehow it all comes out wrong somehow. clashes, conflicts. its just tt everyone has their own problems n situations to deal w rite now n we are all dealing w it the best way we can but sometimes dealing w it means shouting yelling, blocking out stuff, crying, talking, not talking. forming grudges. boiling seething tolerating. n thus clashes. bahhh. i really hate conflicts but it seems tt there r ever so many of em happening now. i feel so blessed sometimes but yet at times i feel so damn low n lousy. wth is wrong w my life? how can i right a problem that is twisted n tied into so many intricate knots? i wish i knew.
on a brighter note, had fun w sokie on mon n tue. she stayed over at my house! n we went to the club. hahah. went shopping n bought cool shoes! n we slept rather late..at 3. was watching tv n upsetting my closet n playing dumb games tt were hilarious on the comp. heheh:) n played lotsa stuff at e club. table tennis was the funnest i think! we were acting retarded the whole time:D but swimming wasnt so nice this time cos it was raining n freezing cold. couldnt tan:( hahah. but we swam laps n exercised alot. went to watch late night movie too! without a paddle. unique n funny show. n sokies nice parents fetched me home :]
yeahh ok, n im leaving spore [again :/] for china. gg to beijing to shop n sight see n to ha er bin to ski! oh man. skiing is so fun. so thrilling. maybe too thrilling. heheh. seriously, it is too thrilling. -looks at na- the last skiing trip we had, we were falling all over the place. haha. na n this ski boarder got entangled. his board was caught betw her skis n they travelleddown the hill at top speed tog. the guy was babbling furiously in some language n they landed at a heap at the foot of the hill w the guy cursing n na's ski pole broke. hahah. oh n sachi ko crashed into a wall like.. many times. i myself was no better. after dragging the super heavy skis out n finally getting them on.. i slided down backwards down the hill. thrilling? more like terrifying. hahah. oh n there was this time when i fell terribly w my skis cross n my body twisted n my ski poles flung in opp directions. n i had no one to help me cos it was a steep slope n the rest had sped down ahead alr. hahahah. terrible okay. i couldnt even uncross my legs cos the skis were so darn heavy. thank goodness this korean guy came to my rescue. hahah. how undignified :/ yeahh so skiing here i come again. hopefully it'llbe more fun than thrilling [terrifying] hahah. take care all! n ive gotta meet lotsa pple when i get back too :] toodle-oo.
bimbo- heyy! -waves- :D miss ya. meet up if u want k.
na- boooo. while im away help me look after pebs n feed goldilocks n his/her sidekicks k! hahah:) look after por n moon too! okk i shant nag :P
michelle- hey dear! i love presents! :D hahahah. yayy does tt mean we get to meet up to exchange presents? missya. :)
sokie- had fun w ya. :]
ching n pris- too bad thur was off. another time yeah :)
theo- we must convince ching's mum. u think of a speech kkk. haha.
maria- shopping when u get back? :]
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dreamed.at .|. 8:48 AM